I am suddenly filled with emotions. Before my daughter was born I was emotion-less. I rarely cried and very few things upset me. Since her birth I have been an emotional wreck. I cry during commercials, movies, shows, cards, books, and much more. At one point my husband said to me, “I don’t know how to handle you acting like a girl. I am use to the Sport Center watchin’ Camille.” His comment made me smile. I replied, “I don’t either. I have no idea who I am anymore.” Having my daughter has changed a lot about who I am, where I want to go and my views on life (in mostly positive ways). Overall I am now a better person. The only problem that is still lingering is the overwhelming amount of emotion I feel towards everything.
This week, Boston has become real and tangible for me. Over the past several months I have been training with one goal in mind, Boston. However, it was too distant to be a reality. This week running Boston has become very real. It started with receiving my Boston participant packet in the mail. I was so excited to open it! I aggressively tore the envelope and read through the multiple booklets. My eyes filled with tears but I held them back knowing my husband was watching. He asked if I was going to cry and of course I said no (I am such a bad liar). My husband competes in the Ironman competitions (which I personally think is astonishing). I asked him if he would cry if he qualified for Kona and he said no (he is also a bad lair). I was filled with an immense amount of elation upon receiving my packet. My dream is coming to life. All my hard work, dedication, and self control are paying off. I am going to BOSTON!
On my ride to work this morning, my eyes grew with tears because I was thinking about my arrival to Boston. I laughed at myself. I was on the verge of crying because I was so ecstatic thinking about what Boston had in store for me. I had to stop thinking about my great endeavor in order to compose myself mentally and physically. When I checked my email at work I received my second notification that Boston was right around the corner. The CLIF Pacers invited me to a free dinner and drinks the Saturday before the race with other CLIF Pacers from around the world. CLIF is a marvelous company who cares deeply about their consumers. I joined the CLIF pacers in Columbus for additional motivation on my quest to qualify. One week prior to Columbus I received a small package in the mail from CLIF. The package included a pair of shoe strings and a post –card from the CEO. The note read something to the effect of: good luck in Columbus, we look forward to pacing with you, we wanted to help you lace up in preparation for the race (I don’t remember the exact verbiage). One week post Columbus I received yet another small package from CLIF. This time the note thanked me for pacing with CLIF and congratulated me on qualifying for Boston. The packet included CLIF Shots and Blocks to help kick off my Boston training (I love the CLIF Shots). I am astonished a company with millions of consumers is able to personally reach so many individuals. With a background in sales and marketing I know how hard the above mailers can be to manage and distribute. Kuddos to all the hard working employees at CLIF for ensuring runners to have an unforgettable experience pre, during and post race.
On my lunch break today I went to visit my mom. We don’t get to see each other as much as we’d like these days (life gets in the way). While there she began asking me questions about Boston. I fought the tears back with every answer. She did not act like she noticed my emotions but I am sure she did (moms somehow know everything). I could not be happier knowing my mom is able to join me, my husband, and my daughter in Boston. My mom has always supported me through long distance races and I could not image running Boston without her. She is my biggest fan and this is my biggest race. She always greets me at the finish line with eyes full of tears, arms open, and a big smile (when she hugs me she tells me how proud she is of me). Although I won’t see my family much along the 26.2 mile course I know they are there somewhere cheering me on. If it wasn’t for them I would not run. I am so thankful and blessed to have my support system.
Last night before bed I read an article profiling Kara Goucher in Runner’s World. In 2009 she lost the Boston Marathon by 9 seconds (only 9 seconds)! She is an incredible athlete. She recently gave birth to a baby boy and is returning to Boston. I hope I get a glimpse of her at the expo or race. In the article she claims she will return every year until she wins (talk about determination). Kara and I have a few things in common; we both have babies, qualified for Boston the same year we gave birth, and are running Boston 2011 (other than that we have nothing in common). After I read the article I thought about the pressure and emotion she must feel (or any other elite athlete) going into completion. I feel the weight of the world when I compete in a road race and I am only competing against myself. I am not competing to win; I am there because I want to PR. I would give anything to have the talent that Kara possesses. She spoke briefly about her 100+ mile training weeks in preparation for Boston. On average I train about 40/42 miles a week (less than half of an elite athlete’s schedule). My family thinks I am extreme when it comes to training, I am nowhere near extreme. Kara sometime runs 3/4 times in one day. Two-a-day runs do me in. The article provided a great deal of motivation and emotion for me. I am no Kara but I will be in Boston to accomplish the same thing, win (my winning is finishing faster than Columbus 3:38).
This week has been emotional and motivational due to the updates from the Boston Athletic Association, receiving my participation packet, CLIF Pacers, my mom, my husband, my cousin Ashley, Kara Goucher’s article and my running. I can’t wait to walk into the expo; big expos make me feel like, “WOW, I’ve made it!” I mostly can’t wait for Monday April 18th at 10:20am. Waking up and knowing I am going to participate in an event few have been able to qualify for. I can’t wait for the overwhelming amount of emotion I will feel approaching the start line, listening to the National Anthem ring through the speakers, and taking off on a journey with 26,000 other highly motivated people. I can’t wait to see how Boston unfolds for me. I am thankful every day God gave me the ability to use my legs and body to do something I love, which is RUNNING. Here’s to Boston and never giving up!
11 days and counting……..