“Man imposes his own limitations, don’t set any”- Anthony Bailey
I am at a loss today. The post Boston blues are setting in. I have never experienced depression after a race until now (I have read about this phenomenon). It is an emptiness I can’t describe. I feel as though I am mourning a loss. In February I was looking forward to a break from running post Boston. After Columbus I was ready to hang my running shoes up forever (had I not received my BQ I’m pretty sure I would have). However, something happened to me in March; I registered for the Kentucky Derby full marathon (10 days post Boston). I went from wanting to quit running all together to running two back to back marathons (I blame Dean Karno’s books for my sudden motivation). I poured my heart and soul into running Boston; I cared for my training almost as much as I care for my family. At times I loved training and others I couldn’t stand it! Some days I would leave my house with a big smile on my face ready to take on any hills and other days I dreaded running. It became a love/hate relationship. Training was my savior and my enemy all at once. I have a unique bond with running to say the least. I am still toying with the idea of running a 50 miler on May 14th. I want to have something big to look forward to but I am afraid of the distance (double a marathon). I have never gone further than 27 miles and I have never run trails for an extended period of time. What to do?
One thing which has helped me get through my running funk; is my blog. I have received an immense amount of positive feedback via facebook and emails. Many people have written to inform me how much I have motivated them to start running. A few of them have even registered for their first 5K (I cannot express how much these words make my heart smile). I am so touched by the response I have obtained. Some of the emails are in regards to running and caring for a family (the great balancing act), others are questions about shin splints and runner’s knee, and some are just kind words of endearment. I began writing with the hopes to inspire others the way Dean Karnazes encouraged me to keep running and push pass my own wall. It is a wonderful feeling to know I have moved others to get off the couch and take care of themselves. I believe taking care of one’s self gives them a sense of control and pride which translates into other aspects of day to day life. Thank you for all the emails congratulating me on my big Boston finish and the thoughtful words you all have provided. I wish you luck in your personal endeavors.
Here’s to the Kentucky Derby marathon (and running under a 3:30) and to all of you who have just begun your journey as a runner (running can take you anywhere; overseas, down the street, into a park, onto a trail, through the mud and so on). Good luck!